If you think you already know everything about female orgasms, whether you're a woman who has experimented with solo play or someone who has had many female partners, think again! Unfortunately, many of the ideas we have about female orgasms are myths, and this can have negative consequences--on a woman's pleasure and self-esteem. Fortunately, we're here to clear up those myths with information that can lead to a more satisfying sex life, no matter what role orgasms play in it!
Orgasms Defy Identification
The first myth we want to tackle is that you always know when you have a female orgasm.That's not true. Some people can overlook the muscle contractions, tension release, and othersigns of orgasms, especially when they first experience them. As a result, it might feel more weird than good.
Plus, not all orgasms are the toe-curling type you see on the big screen, which are designed tohold our attention. Some are smaller or less satisfying than others. Can you believe that most women don't figure out that orgasms differ until they're 24?!
Orgasms don't just defy personal recognition; even researchers find it harder to define orgasmsthan you might guess. Although studies have long relied on specific physical responses to determine if someone had an orgasm, study participants sometimes report having an orgasm without those signs. So maybe no one knows as much about orgasms as they think they do.
That's how we wind up with vague definitions of orgasm, such as "sexual tension increases until it reaches a peak, and pressure in your body and genitals is released". It's better than nothing, but it's not definitive.
While this might not seem like a big deal, it means that some women don't realize they're having orgasms or might think that the orgasms they have are somehow wrong. Women certainly have enough on their plates without worrying that they somehow have orgasms wrong. This brings us right to our next point.
Obsession with Vaginal Orgasms
Our problems with G-spot orgasms extend at least as far back as Freud, who connected lack ofvaginal orgasms with immaturity. This set up clitoral orgasms as immature--and inferior. No wonder so many women are on the quest for a female orgasm from partnered penetration!
To this end, many women--and their partners--have developed an obsession with the G-spot, asensitive spot that gives pleasure and orgasms and can potentially make a woman ejaculate.There's just one problem with this fascination: the G-spot doesn't exist like you think it does.That doesn't mean that many women don't have a sensitive spot on the front wall of their vaginathat can be fun to explore. It does, however, mean that the G-spot isn't a specific organ that makes all this possible.
Instead, the G-spot is one of several areas inside the vagina where you can stimulate the sensitive organ that surrounds it-the clitoris. That's right. The clitoris is much more than thesensitive little nub that you see between your labia. Instead, it's an organ that extends into your body and can be stimulated in multiple ways.
If you're one of the people who has struggled to orgasm from penetration, rest assured that your clitoral orgasms aren't somehow inferior to vaginal ones. It's just a different way of going about it. Even a woman's anal orgasms might result from stimulation of the clitoris through the tissue that separates the vagina and anus.
Of course, the clitoris can't explain all orgasms. If you're one of the lucky few who can "think themselves off" or have orgasms from nipple stimulation alone, then you know that clitoral stimulation isn't always involved.
Still, the clitoris is pretty important when it comes to genital orgasms. If you don't stimulate itsomehow, it's going to be much harder to get off. Direct stimulation is the only way for many women to stimulate their clits. It's just harder to hit the spot right from inside.
You've probably heard that most women need clitoral stimulation to have an orgasm. Some research backs it up, while others show that many women can have vaginal G-spot orgasms pretty easily. One study found that the majority of women either needed or preferred clitoral stimulation to orgasm during partnered sex. This might explain why women's first orgasms from sex tend to happen after their first clitoral orgasms.
When You Struggle
What does this mean for women and the people who love to have sex with them? Orgasms are trickier to recognize then you might think, and clitoral stimulation of some sort is the best way to have one.
Even then, some people struggle to orgasm. If you're one of them, there's no shame. You may need assistance from a vibrator, arousal supplement, or erotica. Foreplay is often the key to orgasm, and if you take a bit longer to get there, LubriLove can keep things lubricated.
Finally, try not to focus too much on having an orgasm. It may sound counterproductive, butplacing that pressure on yourself can make it harder to have one. Instead, give your attention tothe sensations and pleasure. Learn to explore and enjoy your sexuality, and orgasm will often come along with it!
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