If you think you already know everything about female orgasms, whether you're a woman who has experimented with solo play or someone who has had many female partners, think again! Unfortunately, many of the ideas we have about female orgasms are myths, and this can have negative consequences on women's pleasure and self-esteem. Fortunately, we're here to debunk these myths with information that can lead to a more satisfying sex life, no matter what role orgasms play in it!
**Orgasms Defy Identification**
The first myth we want to address is that you always know when you're having a female orgasm. That's not true. Some people may overlook the muscle contractions, release of tension, and other signs of orgasms, especially when experiencing them for the first time. As a result, it may feel stranger than it does good.
Moreover, not all orgasms are of the toe-curling type you see on the big screen, designed to capture our attention. Some are smaller or less satisfying than others. Can you believe that most women don't realize orgasms differ until age 24?
Orgasms not only defy personal recognition; even researchers find it harder to define orgasms than you might think. Although studies have long relied on specific physical responses to determine if someone had an orgasm, study participants sometimes report having an orgasm without those signs. So, maybe no one knows as much about orgasms as they think.
This is how we end up with vague definitions of orgasm, such as "sexual tension builds until it peaks, and pressure is released in your body and genitals" from Planned Parenthood. It's better than nothing, but it's not definitive.
While this may not seem like a big deal, it means some women don't realize they're having orgasms or may think the orgasms they have are somehow wrong. Women certainly have enough on their plates without worrying that they somehow have wrong orgasms. This leads us directly to our next point.
**Obsession with Vaginal Orgasms**
Our issues with G-spot orgasms go back at least to Freud, who linked the lack of vaginal orgasms to immaturity. This set up clitoral orgasms as immature and inferior. No wonder so many women seek a female orgasm from penetrative sex!
To this end, many women, and their partners, have developed an obsession with the G-spot, a sensitive point that provides pleasure and orgasms and can potentially make a woman ejaculate. There's only one problem with this fascination: the G-spot doesn't exist as you think. That doesn't mean many women don't have a sensitive spot on the front wall of the vagina that can be fun to explore. However, it means the G-spot isn't a specific organ that makes all this possible.
Instead, the G-spot is one of several areas within the vagina where you can stimulate the surrounding sensitive organ: the clitoris. That's right. The clitoris is much more than the small sensitive bump you see between your lips. Instead, it's an organ that extends inside your body and can be stimulated in multiple ways.
If you're one of those who has struggled to reach orgasm with penetration, you can rest assured that your clitoral orgasms are not inferior to vaginal ones. It's just a different way of achieving it. Even a woman's anal orgasms can result from clitoral stimulation through the tissue separating the vagina and anus.
Of course, the clitoris can't explain all orgasms. If you're one of the lucky few who can "think yourself" to orgasm or have orgasms from nipple stimulation alone, then you know clitoral stimulation isn't always involved.
Still, the clitoris is quite important when it comes to genital orgasms. If you don't stimulate it in some way, it will be much harder to climax. Direct stimulation is the only way many women can stimulate their clitoris. It's simply harder to hit the target from the inside.
You've probably heard that most women need clitoral stimulation to orgasm. Some research supports this, while others show that many women can have vaginal orgasms at the G-spot quite easily. One study found that most women needed or preferred clitoral stimulation to orgasm during partnered sex. This could explain why women's first sexual orgasms tend to occur after their first clitoral orgasms.
**When You Struggle**
What does this mean for women and people who love having sex with them? Orgasms are harder to recognize than you think, and some form of clitoral stimulation is the best way to have one.
Even then, some people struggle to reach orgasm. If you're one of them, there's no shame. You might need the help of a vibrator, as arousal or eroticism is often the key to orgasm, and if it takes you a little longer to get there, LubriLove can keep things lubricated.
Finally, try not to focus too much on having an orgasm. It may sound counterproductive, but putting that pressure on yourself can make it harder to have one. Instead, pay attention to sensations and pleasure. Learn to explore and enjoy your sexuality, and the orgasm will often come along with it!
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